Egnātius, quod candidōs habet dentēs,

renīdet usque quāque. Sī ad reī ventum est

subsellium, cum ōrātor excitat flētum,

renīdet ille; sī ad piī rogum fīlī

lūgētur, orba cum flet ūnicum māter, 5

renīdet ille. Quidquid est, ubīcumque est,

quodcumque agit, renīdet: hunc habet morbum,

neque ēlegantem, ut arbitror, neque urbānum.

Quārē monendum est tē mihī, bone Egnātī.

sī urbānus essēs aut Sabīnus aut Tīburs 10

aut pinguis Umber aut obēsus Ētrūscus

aut Lānuvīnus āter atque dentātus

aut Trānspadānus, ut meōs quoque attingam,

aut quīlubet, quī pūriter lavit dentēs,

tamen renīdēre usque quāque tē nōllem: 15

nam rīsū ineptō rēs ineptior nūlla est.

Nunc Celtibēr es: Celtibēriā in terrā,

quod quisque mīnxit, hōc sibī solet mānē

dentem atque russam dēfricāre gingīvam,

ut quō iste vester expolītior dēns est, 20

hōc tē amplius bibisse praedicet lōtī.

    Egnātius –iī m.: Roman nomen gentile

    quod: because, the fact that

    dēns dentis m.: tooth

    renīdeō renīdēre: shine; smile back, beam

    subsellium subselliī n.: a courtroom bench

    ōrātor ōrātōris m.: public speaker, courtroom advocate

    excitō excitāre excitāvī excitātus: rouse, wake; stir up, arouse, excite

    flētus fletūs m.: weeping; tears

    rogus rogī m.: funeral pyre

    lūgeō lūgēre lūxī lūctum: mourn 5

    orbus –a –um: bereaved, destitute

    ūnicus –a –um: one and only, singular, unique, special

    ubīcumque: wherever

    ēlegāns –ntis: discriminating, refined, elegant

    urbānus –a –um: of the city, esp. Rome; having city manners, urbane 10

    Sabīnus –a –um: from the Sabine country northeast of Rome

    Tīburs –tis: of or belonging to Tibur (mod. Tivoli), about 18 miles ENE of Rome

    pinguis pingue: fath, rich

    Umber –bra –brum: Umbrian, from the region of Italy east of Etruria

    obēsus –a –um: fat

    Etrūscus –a –um: from Etruria (mod. Tuscany) the region of western Italy north of Rome

    Lānuvīnus –a –um: from Lanuvium, a town in the Alban hills south of Rome.

    āter atra atrum: black, dark-complexioned

    dentātus –a –um: well provided with teeth, toothy

    Transpadānus –a –um: from the region of northern Italy north of the river Po (Padus)

    attingō attingere attigī attāctus: touch; touch upon (in speaking), mention

    quīlibet quaelibet quodlibet (or quīlubet, etc.): whoever or whatever you please; anyone, anything

    pūriter: in a pure manner

    lavō lavāre (lavere) lāvī lōtus (lautus): wash

    rīsus –ūs m. : laugh

    ineptus –a –um: foolish, gauche, awkward

    Celitbēr –era erum: of or from Celtiberia

    Celtibēria –ae f.: Celtiberia, district in the northeastern part of central Spain, so-called because its natives were a mixture of Celts and Iberians

    mingō mingere mīxī mīctus/mīnctus: urinate

    māne: in the morning

    russus (russeus) –a –um: red

    dēfricō dēfricāre dēfricuī dēfricātus: rub thoroughly; scour

    gingīva gingīvae f.: the gums

    quō: (indicating the degree of difference) 20

    expoliō –īre –īvī (–iī) –ītum: smooth down, polish

    bibō bibere bibī: drink

    praedicō praedicāre praedicāvī praedicātus: proclaim, declare, announce

    lōtium lōti(ī) n.: urine

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